The meals I carefully curate for my toddlers look very different than what I eat myself. Star-shaped pieces of cheese or truck-shaped sandwiches go into their lunchboxes. My own meals are quick and portable, often bordering on junk food. Did you know that Dr Pepper isn’t exactly a balanced breakfast? It does fit in a cupholder though, so it’s got that going for it.
When preparing for my first experience with fasting and prayer, I made a notecard with Scripture and prayers as my practical jumping off point. I read up a bit, and the consensus said it’s fine to drink coffee while fasting to avoid caffeine headaches, and black coffee is mostly water anyway. I don’t drink coffee (insert gasp here) so I took a little liberty and decided that Dr Pepper, my caffeine of choice, was probably mostly water, too. I had my plan–the notecard in my back pocket and one bottle of Dr Pepper. I was ready.
Do you know I only took that notecard out of my pocket twice? My bottle of soda received a bit more attention and was decidedly empty. That’s not to say I didn’t pray and read Scripture. But I found myself a bit disappointed at the end of the day. I was hoping for more.
The busyness and loudness of my day (and my children) was louder than the rumble of an empty stomach. Instead of reaching for my note card, I reached for whatever was in front of me as if it was second nature—because as it turns out, it is. I found myself filling that time with a sip of soda or whatever book my toddler brought over to read. Dr Pepper just wasn’t as good that day, even if it was all I had. It wasn’t enough, which was more shocking to me than it should have been.
Rather than use my time to mindfully fast and pray, I was reaching for literal and figurative Dr Pepper. Some of these distractions, like my children, are good. I am blessed to have the distractions of motherhood. Other distractions—like listening to a podcast, scrolling on my phone or checking things off my to-do list that could have waited—aren’t so good. They’re temporarily satisfying, to be sure, but they’re not doing my body or soul any favors.
Not eating was the easy part of fasting and praying. Focusing that time and energy on the Lord—that’s harder. It requires more intentionality, and my urge to stay busy makes it that much more difficult. It’s a lot easier to reach for the Dr Pepper next to you, even when you know it won’t truly satisfy.
But he said, “I have food to eat that you don’t know about.”
The disciples said to one another, “Could someone have brought him something to eat?”
“My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work,” Jesus told them.
John 4:32-34
So far, fasting and prayer have taught me that I need to reach for more than quick and portable. I like Dr Pepper, but it’s a little empty—just like the things I so often fill my day with. God’s Word and his Holy Spirit can satisfy more than anything on this Earth. I’m learning that I need to reach for what will feed my soul and bring me closer to God.
Wonderful write up! I agree with you on all of your story. PS I love Dr Pepper too.