by Jessi Uran | 3-minute read
The ground beneath me shifts
but there is no earthquake.
And the dirt thaws.
The sky above me darkens
but there is no rain.
And the birds sing.
The air around me howls
but there is no whirlwind.
And the flowers bloom.
It is the season of spring.
Yet disaster is to my right and
death is to my left. Each night I mourn the increasing wake left by this strange, invisible storm.
My inner spirit is not sheltered from this outer turmoil.
Nothing feels stable. The footing is foreign. Possessions and convenience that comfort come crashing off the shelves of this idolatrous heart.
The future looks bleak. Fires of false hopes and excitement no longer light my way. The glow of celebrations, graduations, vacations … all snuffed out.
Violent gusts of daily change leave me white-knuckling feeble foundations of my understanding. I shake my head and ask you the question I have been asking for years: “How can I let go and trust you, unless my intellect can first grab hold of you?”
Despite these desperate cries you have turned your ear to hear me.
Your still, small voice calls to me each morning in the face of these outer circumstances and inward desolation.
“My child, look out your window and consider …”
The dirt thaws.
The birds sing.
The flowers bloom.
All creation knows that darkness is not forever. Nature follows the principle that Christ himself laid down.
Out of death, comes life.
Out of death, comes beauty.
Out of death, comes freedom.
This is the song of spring.
And it is the anthem of any who call upon your name …
So draw up your dawn, my soul! Awake and sing your eternal anthem! Look beyond the bleak and trust Jehovah to accomplish the victory.
I will praise you for your kindness, as you permit this shaking that daily brings me to my knees in need.
I will rejoice in your mercy, that in this darkness I learn to lean and trust and cease from building my own fires.
I will speak of your great love! For while this moment you may refrain from ceasing these winds, you give me endless opportunity to surrender my mind and all its faculties of reason to the one who made me.
In you alone I will find my comfort and solace.
Let the earth shake.
Let the sky turn black.
Let the winds blow.
For you, my God, are compassionate and faithful!
You are not concerned with skills of merit or creative coping until this storm passes.
You are set entirely on lifting my gaze to
yours, the face of the One who loves me,
in its very midst.
Peace this day is mine.