Dave Creek
Associate Pastor of Family Ministries
Former Member of First Free’s Maintenance Team
“From about 1996-99 I worked on the maintenance team here at the church. We took care of all the indoor maintenance and also all the outdoor grounds, which included mowing the lawn. I liked to be ‘efficient’ by mowing the lawn quickly…specifically, taking the John Deere riding lawnmower at top speed over the hills and getting some major movement. Like, butt leaving the seat. It was great. A little roller coaster feel to it.
“One time, I was mowing with my boss and noticed he stopped his mower. I took out my headphones, turned around to look at him and saw him pointing back to the main entrance of the church where, to my surprise, we saw the head of facilities standing and watching us.
“The next day I was informed by my now-disgruntled coworkers—when they went to start up the mower they discovered a governor had been placed on it so it stopped at a certain speed. Mowing the lawn took a lot longer after that.”
While relaying this story, Dave also recalled other mowing-related incidents, including getting the mower stuck under a railing at Summerwood and also accidentally running into the Summerwood water fountain and busting an underground water line. He recalls hearing a pop and turning around to see a geyser of water shooting into the air.
Erin Blume
Director of Adult Ministries
Former Hair Salon Receptionist
“I once worked as a receptionist at a hair salon, which isn’t an odd job, but I had a really embarrassing moment happen to me…
“I’d do things like wash the towels, sweep up hair and schedule appointments for people. At one point, they decided to give me some more responsibility and wanted to have me start washing clients’ hair. I had never done it before, but I assumed if I just played it cool and acted confident it would be fine.
“My very first time washing someone’s hair, I took them back to the hair washing station, laid them back in the chair, got them comfortable and went to start the water. I didn’t know that you were supposed to pick up and move the water nozzle before starting it and ended up completely soaking the poor woman sitting in my chair. It went all over her face and her clothes. She was SOAKED!”
Kari Heckler
Director of Kids Ministries
Former Cosmetic Lab Rat
“I was a lab rat. I was in my late 20s. I had my day job at our church but as our family was growing, I wanted a side hustle to make some extra cash. I heard about a lab in the area that made cosmetics and ‘other topical products,’ and they were looking for people to test the products, a.k.a. lab rats. They were paying people well and the only requirement was to have clear skin. Hey! I checked that box.
“I would run into the lab on my lunch break. A lady in a white lab coat with a strong Jersey accent would apply (who knows what) onto my back and tape gauze over it. I would also be handed an unmarked bag with various cosmetics and skincare products to apply daily at home.
“Once a week, I would come to be checked, documented and handed a check. The checks always gave me incentive to return in the following weeks. I did so for a few months, but then I developed a strange itching on my upper back. That was when I decided to retire from this opportunity.
“Shortly after that season, I reformed. For the last few decades, I only use all natural products on my skin.
“P.S. I would NEVER want my own kids to do anything like this to themselves.”
Hadassah Martin
Kids Ministries Administrative Assistant
Former Carmex Inspector
“I spent a summer working at a metal fabrication factory sorting through thousands of mini Carmex lip balm containers for printing mistakes. The worst part was the four giant ovens, 300 feet long, and 400 degrees respectively, running non-stop on the work floor, in the middle of July!
“But I met a really cool lady who did ink mixing for the industrial printers, and ended up adopting a cat from her.”
Renee Cooper
Director of Classic Worship
Former Chicken Slaughterer
“It was not a paid position, but as a child (elementary age) we lived on a farm and raised chickens. And, along with gathering the eggs, some were slaughtered to eat, of course. My job, along with my siblings, was to help in that process…
“Dad would chop off the heads of the chickens. We had to chase them and catch them. (The phrase ‘running around like a chicken with its head cut off’ is a literal thing with them!). After we caught them, we dipped them in a tub of hot water and then plucked all the feathers. Once that was done, Mom took the chickens and cleaned them and prepped them to be frozen for future meals.
“Odd enough?”
Nate Carter
Videographer
Former Fiberglass Animal Sander … and more
“I spent a summer sanding fiberglass animals in a factory in downtown Rockford. It was the summer of 2001 and I remember that because toward the end, I was driving into work and heard on the radio that the twin towers just fell. … They let us go home early that day.
“Chicago had just done this thing downtown where a bunch of artists painted fiberglass cows and they set them up as an art thing. People must’ve loved it because every city decided they wanted fiberglass animals, too. We’d make things like bears, wolves, pigs.
“My boss would assemble the animals and seal them, and then I would sand the seams and roughly sand the body of the animal. I’d finish about three animals a day. The worst part was that he listened to awful music. Mostly Supertones. Ska all day will make a man go insane.
“It turns out I am allergic to dust so I would leave work sick every day. But I needed money, so … you know.”
Nate also did stints painting tires that had just been retreaded, as a plumber, and as a maintenance guy at Midway Village. “I always thought it was haunted,” he says. “I would get freaked out because I had to walk down this long dark hallway and the lightswitch was in the middle and there were mannequins all over the place. Mannequins are the worst.”
Jim Killam
Shepherding Elder
Former Pumpkin Washer
“During fall, I worked after school at Edwards Apple Orchard. This included several weird jobs, but two come to mind. On what always seemed the coldest October days, I picked and washed pumpkins…
“We would toss a couple of dozen muddy pumpkins into the Edwards family’s above-ground swimming pool, then scrub-brush them one by one. Plunging past my elbows into the pool, the water felt like a brisk 40 degrees. And you couldn’t see to the bottom because of all the mud.
“I learned that most pumpkins float. The Edwards family learned the following spring that some do not. And no one ever swam in that pool again.
“Some days, several of us high-school kids would be trusted with the orchard’s 1965 Ford pickup truck to go row-by-row through the orchard and pick up windfall apples for cider. (This was the late 1970s, when the practice was allowable under health department standards.) Every 50 feet or so, we would park the truck, which was full of wooden crates. Then we’d crawl under the trees, picking up apples that still looked marginally edible and not wormy. After we had filled all the crates (and pelted each other with rotten apples), we’d drive the truck back to the barn. Except for one time when my friend, Bill, was driving. He took a corner too fast and dumped three hour’s worth of apples, and us, off the back of the truck.
“I think that was the last time we were asked to do that job.”
Paul Geddes
Former Church Chairman
Former Bovine Artificial Inseminator
“I grew up on a dairy farm, and got certified to do artificial insemination for our dairy cows. I am probably responsible for in the neighborhood of 100 bovine pregnancies. I could give you more details of the process…but this is more than likely all you want to know.”
Sophia Vale
Communications Director
Former Lifeguard & Concessions Worker
“I spent a couple summers lifeguarding at an outdoor public pool during the end of high school/beginning of college. Lifeguarding in and of itself is not an ‘odd job,’ but I did have some pretty weird experiences during my time there…
“95% of lifeguarding is just watching patrons and never actually talking to them, so lifeguards would often identify our regulars by their physical descriptions rather than their names. The pool where I worked was notorious for having patrons with really, really weird tattoos. One of our most iconic patrons was someone we called ‘Pentagram Dad,’ because he literally had a giant pentagram tattooed on his chest. Ironically, he was one of our kindest patrons and one of the most attentive parents. He would spend hours playing with his kids in the water and was so interactive with them. Don’t judge a book by its cover!
“As a lifeguard, we also had to do stints working at the concession stand. This mostly involved sneaking free ice cream, trying not to die from heatstroke and making sure the nacho cheese didn’t clump up. At closing, there were several tasks you had to do to clean up the concession stand and get it ready for the next day. One task was emptying the water from the hot dog cooker. This meant turning off the machine, unscrewing a little cap on the side and trying not to get hit by the stream of warm, greasy, hot dog water that came shooting out.
“Many a dare was made involving a cup of warm hot dog water, but I never saw anything with my own two eyes…”
Great stories! I never realized you folks have had such interesting jobs. : )