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Mother’s Day: Daughter Truths
As Mother's Day approaches, Jessi Uran reflects on moments as a mom that remind her of the beautiful parent-child relationship we have with our heavenly Father.
Jessi Uran
May 5, 2021

Jesus used his disciples’ everyday circumstances as teaching points. Fishing, their familiar profession. Yeast in bread. Workers in a field. A vineyard. He spoke in terms they easily understood.

About a year ago, he began to highlight things in my ordinary — speaking my daily language as a means to teach me about himself. This parenting vernacular, the parallel of how I love my kid as a very imperfect parent, and what our relationship looks like, showed me how I am perfectly parented as a daughter of the King.

Young mother wraps arms around daughter and picks flowers
Mother-child illustration by Elin Ericsen.

Over the course of a year, the Spirit would highlight different moments of my mothering. I began to write them down and save them. Like breadcrumbs in my pocket, I have used these not as a list of how to be a good parent, but as a way to lead me out of loneliness, fear or doubt. I pray that this list serves as similar encouragement to you. It’s not just for moms, but for everyone he calls “my kid.”

•••

When I ask her to do something, I do not merely seek her compliance.
I am seeking obedience from the heart — a “yes mom,” out of knowledge of my deep love for her.

We work on healthy habits and choices together. I guide her. I do not leave her alone.

I love it when she leans back on me.

I do not remember what she did wrong yesterday.

I love her even when she is watching TV.

When she is hurt, I do not expect her to immediately stop her tears and repeat back to me what is true. I just hold her first.

If she is hurting or sick, my heart aches.

I am so proud of her when she obeys, even when it’s hard.

“Artist Amelia” is not all I am concerned about nurturing or growing. She is more than her talents.

I love just being with her and walking next to her.

She doesn’t have to clear herself of wrongs and then dwell on them for days and days or hour upon hour. When she admits wrong, we embrace, and freely move about our day.

I love showing her new things.

When she eats sweets, I do not count how many she has during the day and then use that as my rubric for how much love I will withhold.

I cannot keep her from hurts. The only way to do this would be to keep her from living.

I love it when she tells me what she really wants for a gift. Most of the time I start immediately thinking of the joy it would be to give it to her. I never want to keep her from joy.
When I say no, it is only for her good.

There aren’t only certain times of the day when I will talk to her. I love talking/responding anytime she calls.

Sometimes I’ll just watch her in her own little world, not even thinking about anything, and I get the biggest smile.

I know what she needs before she needs it, but as she grows, my love for her compels me to watch her learn her own strength.

When she is scared I hold her, first and foremost.

I love to tell her she is beautiful.

When she is willfully defiant, the natural consequence from me is never the removal of my love for her.

I do not give her the silent treatment when I am angry.

I love to listen to her sing.

I do not like to see her bossed around by her friends.

I love to kiss her head.

When she isn’t resting well, it grieves me.

I love to watch her dance and I love to dance with her, too.

I am not always talking to her. Sometimes I just enjoy being with her.

I am never closed to hearing from her.

In dealing with her fears (wasps, bike riding) I do them gradually, but also give every occasion to overcome. We don’t let them go unchallenged. I want her to see who she is. We don’t let up.

My “no’s” for her always come from the place of love.

I reward her for the trying. I don’t ask for perfection.

With school, I plan ahead all the time. I am always going before. She only gets to the learning in her scope of experience on her linear level. But in a way, I’ve already been there. I’ve prepared the teaching and the circumstances. Nothing is new to me. It’s all under my attention and control.

When she and I are working in the house, I do not expect her to always know or 100-percent understand what I am doing. All I ask is that she trust me and listen when I do give her instruction.

When she comes downstairs in the morning, I do not expect her to sit at her desk and prove her love to me through her work. We sit together and I hold her until she is awake.

The things I say most to her during a day are:

“Can I help you with that?”
“Slow down, love.”
“It’s OK. We can fix it.”
“Can I carry that for you?”
“Are you listening?”
“I know it’s hard, but you can do it.”
“Will you come sit on my lap?”

“I love you.”

Jessi Uran

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