6 MINUTE READ
Listening to the right words
An experience with failure helped Kaylee Gahm understand the power she had allowed people’s words to have over her.
Jim Killam
May 25, 2022

Video produced by Nate Carter

Growing up in suburban Milwaukee, Kaylee Gahm was accustomed to succeeding in whatever she set her mind to. As a young adult, she set her sights on nursing school, knowing this would be her biggest challenge yet.

When school didn’t go well, people close to her let her know their disappointment.

“They just kept telling me that I wasn’t doing enough and I needed to do more—that I was slacking or being lazy,” she says. “And I knew in my heart that wasn’t true. So those words had a lot of effect on me, because they discouraged me anytime they would say something like that. And that made school harder for me.

“I take a lot of what people tell me to heart, even If I know other things may be true. Words are really hard for me.”

Kaylee ended up being dismissed from the nursing program. She also had drifted from her relationship with God, sending her to a low point in her life.

“I was only focused on everything else everyone was saying to me and not what he was saying to me,” she says. “That was really hard for me because I felt like I was disappointing him along with everyone else I was disappointing in my life.”

About that time, Kaylee got involved with First Free Rockford, including volunteering in Kids Ministries and singing on the worship team for the Contemporary and Chapel services. It’s helped her sort through life and realize the setback in school might have been new direction.

“At a certain point, I just stopped and said to myself, you know, this just wasn’t my path,” she says. “This just wasn’t what God wanted for me. And from that moment on, I started thinking, So what does God want for me? What is he trying to tell me that I am not hearing?”

“I got a full-time job and I started applying two more nursing programs and I just really put myself a lot more into my faith. And things really just started to turn around for me.”

Kaylee has been accepted into a new nursing program and starts this fall. She’s excited. But experiencing temporary failure has given her new perspective—and not just in her own life and faith.

“I feel that I can be a more sounding board to others who are going through the same thing or something similar to what I went through,” she says. “I feel like I can use the right words to encourage them and lift them up and to give them hope, and to let them know that things may be hard right now and things may be scary and you may not understand what’s going on, but that’s OK. Things will take time to seem better, but don’t lose sight of what’s important.

“I think I can help people understand that.”


During the making of this week’s video, we also spoke with Anna, a middle-schooler who experienced the negative effects of words when a classmate posted a social media video saying hurtful and profane things about her. Anna talked with Kari Heckler, First Free’s Director of Kids Ministry, shortly after it happened.

“I was encouraged to hear Anna say that she had a lot of other people encourage her and show love in their words after they would find out how hurt she was by the video,” Kari says. “I wanted to make sure to communicate to her that God loves her and thinks she is awesome—even more than any friend of family member does.”

Kari and the Kids Ministry team teach kids to understand the power of words, and they emphasize to parents the importance of speaking healthy words to their kids.

“As we teach the kids at church, the word of God is ALWAYS true,” she says. “Proverbs 18:21 says that  ‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue…’ What a powerful, yet small part of our body! The uncontrolled tongue speaking to a child can spark hurt and negative self-worth that can remain for days, months, or even the remainder of that child’s life. However, Proverbs 16:24 tells us that  ‘Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.’ Wow! Words can be healthy? Think of how much effort parents and caregivers put into the foods that children eat or make the effort to get them outdoors to play—all in the mindset of health. Are we also doing as the Word teaches us: speaking healthy words into our children?”

Reflecting on what her daughter went through, Anna’s mom, Rachel, has this advice for fellow parents:  “Things are most likely going to be said or typed about your child. As long as you hold your head up high and focus on The Lord, He will see you through each challenge.”

Anna’s story by Sophia Vale.

Jim Killam
Jim Killam is a journalist, author, teacher and terminal Cubs fan. He and his wife, Lauren, live in Rockford and work internationally with Wycliffe Bible Translators.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get the latest stories from First Free Rockford in your inbox.

Sorry, No posts.
Send this to a friend